Nuisance

As the meeting in God's Realm was adjourned, Bodil felt as drained as ever. It was difficult always working so hard to express his opinion, and it always left him somewhat tired. He was the last one out of the meeting room as usual, because he didn't want to accidentally push any body - or get pushed himself - trying to get out of the door just a few seconds faster. He looked up and down the corridor, and saw Notch and Hero not far away, talking over what they thought about the decisions. Bodil smiled a little and ran after them to try and take part. "Hey!"
   He was too far away for them to hear, and by the time he reached them, he didn't want to speak out again for fear of sounding annoying.
   "-be a good idea. If only we could get permission." Hero was saying to Notch.
   "I'm writing a case to her asking." Notch replied. "I want this to work. I don't think it's enough for just Zek to be in charge of it, I think - just for some cases - he should be allowed to ask us. It's not that I don't trust him to do it, though."
   "Yeah, of course."
   "It's really stressing him out, brother. The burden will be less hard on him if he isn't the only one deciding."
   Bodil tried to join them at their sides to walk in step, but there wasn't enough space in the corridor for three people to walk comfortably side by side. So, Bodil remained tagging behind, trying to keep up without stepping on their heels. "I agree." He put in, even though he had some points he could make to adjust the idea.
   The two taller gods glanced back at him as he spoke. Notch looked away again without speaking, but Hero nodded a little in acknowledgement. "Me too." Then he looked ahead again.
   "I have to finish that essay." Notch said.
   "I've never written an essay in my life." Hero shook his head. "I'm not even fluent at writing in English yet. I feel like a little kid sometimes."
   "But you can speak Anglo-Saxon, which is truly beyond me."
   "I can speak Anglo-Saxon." Bodil chimed.
   Hero shrugged, not noticing him this time. "That's fair, but you went to college."
   Notch snorted. "It's only an English degree."
   "You wrote a seventy page paper, Notch."
   "Yeah, that's what you do for a doctorate."
   Hero shuddered. "I'm gonna stick with enchanter script, thanks."
   Bodil opened his mouth to say that he had gone to college as well and understood the difficulty of a doctorate, but he tripped over himself clumsily. He slowed, just as Notch brought something up that fascinated Hero, making the Magist Demigod too excited in the conversation to notice him. Bodil could have run to catch up after he righted himself, but as they turned around the corner, he thought that maybe it wouldn't be worth the effort just to be virtually ignored.
  He rubbed his opposite arm with one hand awkwardly, looking around for somewhere else to go. All the other Demigods had branched off together, so he felt he should go with someone too. He sighed a little, and walked out of the citadel, down the stairs into the main square, where some Valkyrie were going. He looked around, and saw Hystoria and Ridge talking. Ridge wasn't his favorite person to talk to, bringing up a lot of old memories, but he would take what he could get. He ran over to them.
   "Do you wanna go out again tonight?" Hystoria asked him.
   "Sure, the usual place?" Ridge said.
   "Where?" Bodil asked. They didn't hear him.
   Hystoria nodded, and Ridge continued. "Hero won't mind, right?"
   Hystoria rolled her eyes. "Stop being so seventeenth century. I can hang out with who I want."
   Bodil thought about raising his voice to try and grab their attention, but his anxiety spiked, and he couldn't bring himself to speak for fear of being obnoxious.
   Ridge shrugged. "Alright, man. See you tonight."
   They separated. Bodil's heart was beating fast. He couldn't help but wonder if he was invisible. He bit his lip, looking around again. He felt very small there in the plaza of God's Realm. He was shorter than almost everybody else, yes, but he also felt like his very existence was smaller. Like he didn't matter as much as everybody else. He shook it off, and decided he would ask somebody else out to lunch, then he wouldn't be alone. He looked around yet again, and was lucky enough to see Pinch, Demigod of the Teuthidans, walking down the steps in his usual formalwear.
   Bodil ran over, waving. "Pinch!"
   Pinch looked at him, and smiled. "Oh, wow, hey Bo. I haven't seen you in a whole five minutes. How's the wife?"
   Bodil winced as he stopped in front of him. "Fine... Sorry. I was just wondering, do you maybe wanna go out for lunch...? I know a cool place in New York..."
   Pinch blinked, before he sighed. "Oh... Sorry, buddy, I can't. I got a date."
   Bodil's heart dropped. "O-Oh, no it's okay! Who is he?"
   "She, this time." The corner of Pinch's mouth twitched up. "Thought I'd try something new."
   "Good luck." Bodil smiled a little back. "I-I'm gonna... go..." He turned awkwardly and ran back up the stairs into the citadel. Pinch watched him go, before he sighed and continued on his way.
   Bodil kept his eyes on the ground. There had to be somebody who could talk to him, right? There had to be someone who wanted to spend time with him, some friend he had. Somebody... Anybody...
   Suddenly, nearby, he heard the word "annoying" being spoken in casual conversation, in an agitated tone. He stopped, looked, and felt like laying down on the floor and never getting back up. Notch was there, talking to Ephesus this time. Bodil didn't listen anymore. He didn't even know who or what they were talking about - he just immediately assumed it had to be him. He teleported home quickly, feeling shaky and alone.
   He appeared on the green grass outside his cabin. The lake and the flowers were as clear and pretty as ever, though it was a little windy and sky was gray. Bodil went up to the porch, and then through the unlocked door to his house. He glanced to the couch, and stopped.
   There he was. His heart swelled.
   Tyler was laying on the couch in the living room, eyes shut, fast asleep. Artie was curled up on his chest, also asleep. Bodil was glad they were sleeping so peacefully, but... he really wanted someone right now...
   Bodil looked at his feet and went towards the stairs to go take a shower. His heart felt dull and sad, and his mind was rushing with thoughts, none of them outstandingly hopeful. He didn't want to be left alone. He wanted someone to hold right now, somebody warm who actually enjoyed spending time with him. But was there anybody who actually liked him, genuinely...? The idea had plagued his mind since he first became a Demigod. He always just felt annoying, no matter what he did, especially when he heard his own stupid-
   "Bodil...?"
   Bodil stopped short as he heard the soft voice, his thoughts breaking off. His heart throbbed in his chest, suddenly feeling a little warmer.
   He glanced back at Tyler after a moment, and saw him sitting up on the couch now, looking at him with sleepy concern over the back. Bodil stared at him a moment, trying to think of what to say, brown eyes big. He finally opened his mouth, but instead of speaking, a quiet sob fell past his lips.
   Tyler's eyes widened as Bodil doubled over, covering his face with his hands. Tyler got up quickly and ran over, hugging him so tight they almost toppled over. Bodil buried his face in his shoulder, sobbing again, no matter how hard he tried to stop it.
   "Bodil, what's wrong...?!" Tyler asked, his eyes wide with alarm.
   Bodil couldn't reply, getting closer to him for support. Tyler looked at him sadly, still very worried as he held him tighter. Artie was sitting on the floor by Bodil's feet, looking up at him in confusion.
   Tyler pulled Bodil gently over to the couch after a moment, sitting him carefully down. He pulled back and brushed Bodil's black bangs back from his eyes, gazing at him with worry. Bodil wouldn't meet his gaze. His cheeks were flushed and wet from his tears.
   "Honey, what happened...?" Tyler asked him, his voice soft and compassionate.
   Bodil sobbed again. "I-I..." He could barely speak. He had so much to say. He wanted to tell Tyler how he felt ignored, how he felt invisible, how he longed for attention every waking moment and even when he had it, a part of him would still feel like it wasn't enough. His social anxiety was high, but his need for attention and love was higher, and it was driving him crazy. He wanted to tell Tyler, who he trusted and cared about more than anyone, but he just couldn't. "I..." He swallowed and sobbed again, looking down. "I-I had a bad d-day..."
   Tyler's gaze saddened and he hugged Bodil tightly. "Oh, honey... I'm sorry, I should've gone with you..."
   Bodil didn't answer as he pressed as close as humanely possible to Tyler. A part of him just wanted to be closer, and closer still, to be surrounded by Tyler as much as possible, to be loved by him with every second he could sap out of the day. But the other part of him wanted to go away, to go upstairs and lock himself in the closet so he wouldn't bother Tyler anymore with his petty issues and fears. He was torn between the need for affection and the fear of being a nuisance, and he didn't know what to do. He had never known what to do about these feelings, for his entire life. But at least now, since he had Tyler, he had someone who cared about him...


Alternate Ending I Couldn't Bring Myself to Do:

   ...He appeared on the green grass outside his cabin. The lake and the flowers were as clear and pretty as ever, though it was a little windy and sky was gray. Bodil went up to the porch, and then through the unlocked door to his house. He glanced around, but found the house empty aside from the usual sleeping Artie on the couch.
   "Tyler?" He called softly, not fully trusting his voice. There was no answer. All the lights were out. He went over to the stairs and glanced up. He called the Soulsucker's name again, but there was still no response.
   Bodil assumed he must be out training somewhere and shakily went into the kitchen to busy himself with making dinner. But when he reached out to the fridge to get some ingredients out, he saw a note taped to the door. He blinked and picked it up, looking down at it. It was in Tyler's handwriting.

Bodil,
   There was an emergency mission for the army I had to take. It'll be two weeks. I'm sorry for the short notice. Be safe,
Tyler

   Bodil stared at the note silently for several seconds after he finished it, before he sniffled softly. His eyes watered as he shut them. He slowly leaned his head against the fridge door and stayed still as he listened to the rain beginning to fall softly outside.